15 Seconds, Moment Of Love
Monday, October 13, 2008
It has been 1 year. 365.25Days. In a blink of an eye, 1 year has passed. 13th October 2007 was our graduation day. I can still remember Duncan, Leelee and that maths/science teacher singing 千里之外 (thousand miles out there?) for us. We took pictures. After which me and soomei had LJS for lunch. I bought 3sticks of Tapanyaki from J8's basement and headed off to Bishan library to meet kennard and songen and a jiaqi i was gonna get to know for our study session.
haha By the end of the day, i already knew i was gonna like him, songen did too, even though i was still in denial than, until a week later. Well it's not surprising though, i am the kind to fall in love easily. What surprised me though was the intensity and the length of this little crush.
Instead of concentrating on my studies, i called kennard/songen every single day for a conference on the phone, hoping he would be on the line. Everytime i arranged for a study session at the library, my intentions weren't for studying, i was simply hoping to see him again. During our exams in the big airconditioned hall, instead of concentrating on our papers, i was constantly looking across the room to catch a glimpse of him. Thank god all that didn't affect my grades LOL I'm a lucky one haha
Serene thinks im crazy, and kennard thinks im foolish. Well it's not like i've never tried getting over him, ye know. I tried, and i failed. Twice. First attempt was December 2007, when he went to HK. I crushed on a Aaron i got to know from work haha But he disappeared after 2 or 3 weeks? And that's the end of it. Anyway, when i saw him again when he came back, i fell right back into it. We ate at Bishan's foodcourt, we watched Hitman, and we went home LOL Second attempt was this year. I tried crushing on a certain cute colleague hahahah But it failed miserably. Well i guess cuteness is not enough huh lol
Yeah 1year. So many things have changed (for the better). To begin with, we talk a lot more. I no longer feel that he's avoiding me. I got to know him a lot better. Blah blah blah. And over the duration of 1year, i quarelled with nard numerous times over him hahaha But it's all good now. He has accepted my decision, though he still says it's bad for me LOL And so many things have remained unchanged. My feelings for him. And his feelings for me, or the lack of it.
Ah. When i like him, there is this cycle i keep going through. I already know i like him. Then I'll think of confessing. But in the end i'll back out cause i'm such a coward. And than after a long time of not seeing him, i'll be thinking of getting over him. But it never works la, cause everytime i see him again, its back to square 1. Haha i wonder if this cycle will ever break. Maybe, if i confess to him. Or even better, he confess to me! (but i highly doubt the possibility of that ever happening) Or maybe on my third attempt in trying to get over him by liking somebody else, it will work! Maybe, just maybe..
But i'm happy with the way things are right now. We are friends, not very close, but remember we only acquainted a year ago, despite the fact that we walked the same corridors for 4years before that lol We could have totally missed each other, you know, if i didn't attend that study session. Sure, we'll probably meet some other time, since i hang out with songen and songen hangs out with him.. But things will be different. When you meet someone at a different place at a different time, you will have different feelings. At least that's what i think.
Haha i wonder what are my intentions in blogging all this. I know he doesn't read my blog, or i think he doesn't. But of course, a certain part of me hopes that he cares enough to read, and maybe know how i feel about him haha But that same part fears the consequences. What if he avoids me? haha But i think he'll just pretend he doesn't know about the entry la So things will remain the same. For now, for the time being. I won't complain.
I just thought it was important for a conclusion. You know. 1 year is a long time. If i still like him 365.25days later, i'll probably blog about it again haha So 1year from now, i'll know whether there's any "advancement" hahaha But if i do get over him before that, i'll also blog about it. You know, got opening, must have closure also mah.
Yups. It's been a long entry and i'll end it here. I can already imagine some of you rolling your eyes yah, so many words on my affections for one guy hahahaha
爱你，不只是想念而已吧。
365days till then.
~(11:07 PM)
