Hello people!

So i got the job!

And I'm starting tomorrow!

YAY ME!

And since I'm here already

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAQI!!!

Yups, that's about it.

TV calls.

Ciao.
~(8:57 PM)




I haven't slept all night, really. I was up till 6, 7 and i stayed awake as my room started to lit up and as the sunlight streamed into my room through my dark sea-green curtains. Yet, i stayed in bed till about 12. Tossing and turning, tossing and turning, trying to get some sleep, but to no avail. Yeah and what did i do all night? Watched tv till about 2.30am, read my little cousin's SVH Chick novel about Twins liking the same guy and such, ate the cake i got from Dome the other day, went out for some night air and back to my room, trying but failing to catch some sleep.

And having been awake for more then 24hrs now, i'd do anything for me to drift to lalaland and make up for loss sleep for the past few nights. The dark circles are showing. And you know what the scary part is? I don't even feel tired. I mean, yeah sure, mentally i want to sleep, but my body seems to think not. I would ask you guys for sleeping pills, but i was afraid you people would think i'm sucicidal lol

And enough about my insomia. After i finally gave up trying to sleep at all, i bathed, got changed and met Pris at Orchard mrt. We spent more then an hour at the clinic at Orchard Towers, where she was supposed to do her medical checkup for her DPA application. And when we were done, it was raining very heavily, lightning and thunder.

And even though i had an umbrealla, one that is so small it can't even cover me properly, we still got wet. I carried her bag and envelope in my bag and covered myself with the umbrealla, but i still got wet, waist down. As for her, she was totally drenched, as she ran in the rain since my umbrealla couldn't cover us both.

The place was totally flooded. My shoes are damp and water got in and my cargo was three-quarters drenched. Right then and there, i understood what the guy meant in that korean soap i watched every saturday night since two weeks ago

"When your feet feels cold, your heart will not"

So anyways, after that we arrived at our destination, Wheelock or something. We wanted to get a job at Borders but apparently all posts for eighteen and below are filled up. Next i had my ice-blended mocha with whip cream at Coffee bean while she had a slice of tiramisu. And since i've been failing to find a job for the past week, not that i looked hard enough, i've decided to take up the offer to work with her selling coupons. So right now, i just have to wait for the boss' nod, and i can start work right away.

Why the hurry? Because my savings are down to only six bucks and my phone bill revealed a shocking two hundred over dollars. Plus, people's birthdays are coming up, one after another. Just tomorrow, it's jiaqi's birthday lol But since I'm on budget right now, he's getting nothing but a birthday greeting sms from me lol

I can't help it, really. And besides, the job would not only provide me with the cash i need, but also distraction. And right now, it's not really a bad thing. Any distraction that can fill the emptiness in me is good. I guess.

For your information, i am neither emo nor love sick. I am not.

Some may think i'm in the land of denial, maybe, but even if i am would i admit to that?

So yah, no point explaining, since i don't know how to anyway. Let's just leave it as a big question mark lol

Yeap and that's all for today. Hope you enjoyed reading.

Cheerios.

Not like there's anything to be happy about.
~(8:07 PM)




Since i can't sleep all night, yes i suffer from insomia, i shall blog about what i've been up to for the past two days.

Actually i spent both days sleeping, eating and watching tv hahahahahha

But the evenings are different, so let's start from yesterday

Met up with Alan and went over to his cafe for a job interview and had our dinner there. They said they would hire me, but i'll have to wait for a month or so, so i'm still jobless lar haha well at least the dinner was on alan. After that we went over to J8 so i could shop for dear denise and brian's birthday presents and cards! After that we cabbed home, where we met a cheecky taxi uncle. After i left the cab the uncle started talking to alan lol and asked if i was his girlfriend and asked him to hold my hand whenever possible or something like that. It was damn funny lah i was laughing out loud while talking to songen on the phone hahahahhah

And as for today, went kbox with denise & brian, our birthday girl and boy, Pris, adriel, wufeng, zhihui and xionglong and serene. Had a great time there. Sang a lot lol i think. I got kinda emo for awhile i think, don't know what got into me. And i hate zhihui, he seemed to have got into the role of songen, kept irritating me about kennard. ARGH But anyway, we had a great time haha and i drank shandy, yeah i know it's a kiddy drink but still. hahahahah

Well photos will be up soon, i hope hahahaha

I think i shall go play neopets now =P

And once again,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DENISE!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN!!!

BEST OF LUCK AND I LOVE YOU BOTH!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHA
~(2:46 AM)




Red camp!
What camp?
Red camp!
What camp?!
RED CAMP 4!

Yeah that's basically what i've been attending for the past 3 days.

In short, it was enjoyable

The food was great

The seniors were friendly

And the school was awfully generous with their prizes

Not that i won any..

So nard won a pair of tickets to My Chemical Romance's concert and Nurul's cousin won a Sony Errison phone

No such luck for me though

In fact, things haven't been going well for me these past few days

Everything seems to be going wrong

Everything from my non-existant love life to friendships and family blah blah blah

Yup, things can't get any worse

Even my faithful aircon, which doesn't break down easily, has done so

I've officially hit rock bottom

ARGH

I need to scream

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~(12:49 AM)




You know,

It's more comforting to feel lonely when your alone (duh)

then to feel left out/invisible in a group of friends
~(11:33 PM)




My 'close' (guy) friends...

One badmouthes about me to my crush
One totally ignores my existance for reasons unknown
One abandons me for porn
And one insults me out of nowhere, for what, to crush my dignity?

"You have no class"

Wow

Tell me what friendship's about

Because I have no answer to that anymore

Friends, who are supposed to be encouraging, understanding blah blah blah

Ends up

They make you feel bad about yourself, they discourage you, and they get petty for the most unsignificant reasons.. Or they completely ignore you..

Friends...

And like this isn't bad enough

I'm completely invisible to my crush. He rather sms someone who doesnt bother to reply him then reply my smses

I'm giving up, really

If they don't care, why should i?

True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like autumn leaves, found everywhere

LOL where should i cateogorise you guys eh...

This is hopeless

SIGH =(
~(10:56 PM)





~(10:25 PM)




I would love to blog about prom, but i don't know where to start

Held at Holiday Inn parkview

The food was so-so only lah

But it was enjoyable

And i have no idea who the Prom King and Queen are

Just lots and lots and lots of photo taking

With people i know, with people i don't know, acquaintainces, old friends whatever

Yeah and that's about it?

Walked all the way to Dolby Ghaut after that lol

And the whole lot of us took the mrt home

Denise, Priscilla, me, jiaqi, songen, kennard, zihui, zhikai, leonnard

Yeah i think that's all hahahahhahaha

Blah, i don't know what to say

My heart has died

xP
~(12:38 PM)





Waiting at Hougang interchange for 89 to changi village. It was a pretty long bus trip but we entertained ourselves by playing daidee lol and the deck of cards i brought was flawed as it had 2 four of diamonds and 5 sixes hahahahah but we made do with it and i only lost one round muahahhahahah


This was taken in the boat towards Ubin. The trip was cool cause this time i got to stand on the deck and feel the wind in my face lol and yeah, i confessed to the wind =p


In total, 9 bicycles for the 9 of us. Can you spot mine? It's a red colour one, and of cause the shortest one lah lol


And that's kenneth wearing my PINK sunglasses


This was the guy's lunch magi mee lol yup they cook it in a messtin with solid fuel and everything. They can really survive in the wild i tell you especially jiahao. He can produce fire without matchsticks and lighter! And he makes smoke bombs! That terrorist...


Yeah and this is a picture of the guys cooking and me slacking around waiting for food to be served. What, i'm the only girl what... lol


Yeah and since i had nothing to do, i formed my name with the magi mee's seasoning lol and see that cup noodle? That's my lunch lol cause the magi mee they bought got chilli de :(


And that'ss our spread =D


Group picture by the beach taken by some black guy hahahah


Me, kenneth and joel on a rock at the highest cliff in Ubin


The four heavenly kings on the highest cliff of Ubin. Victor, Jianwei, Xiuhao and Benjamin


And the four.... me, Yeefung, Kenneth and Jiahao


Group picture again, on the highest cliff in Ubin lol


And again...


And again...


And this.... CHIOBU!!! AHAHAHAHHA


That's us cycling.. can you see i'm having a hard time?


Me, Jiahao and kenneth. Look at that guy's retarded face lol and see the height difference between me and jiahao?


Me and joel at the jetty there lol i have this weird smile right i think


LOL halloween over le these two ghosts still wanna come out scare people


Poor yeefung lol


Me, yeefung and kenneth lol


SEE? Another CHIOBU!!!


Ours shadows by the beach... lol cool right


Kenneth's two dollars. Retrieved from the sea after he dropped it in. He's damn lucky it's a low tide and the currents were bringing it to shore lah or else 4bucks wasted


And that's the rest of us while waiting for kenneth and joel to retrieve the money


On the "suspension bridge"...


And crabs... yeah joel was so facinated by them lah lol


Thats us on the watch tower


And that's a beautiful sunset. A good way to end the day...


And that's xiuhao...
~(10:03 PM)




It's been a week since 6 Nov, let's recall what we've been up to shall we

Tuesday, 6 Nov
After our last paper, me, songen, kennard, jiaqi, zhihui, zhikai walked around bishanJ8 and had our celebratory dinner at Pizza hut followed by more walking around J8. I felt rather emo cause i was left out. The only girl among a whole bunch of tall class205 guys, how can i not be?

Wednesday, 7 Nov
Me, Songen, Kennard, Jiaqi and Benjy watched Stardust at cineleisure. Great show, catch it if you can. Anyway after that, we played CS at GSC followed by home

Thursday, 8 Nov
Ubin trip with Joel, Kenneth, Jiahao, Yeefung, Benjamin, Victor, Xiuhao and jianwei.
Lots and lots of cycling and realising that bicycles have gears lol and that we can adjust them hahahahha how retarded am i? It was damn tiring i tell you but fun lol. That's all i've gotta say for the Ubin trip cause if i were to blog about this, it would take forever so i'll post the pictures after this post. After all, a picture says a thousand words eh?

Friday and Saturday, 9 and 10 Nov
Stayed home and slack

Sunday, 11 Nov
Shopping with Joel, Kenneth, Kennard and Songen at Orchard. Kennard collected his pants at Shaw and bought a pair of $93 white shoes. Kenneth bought a PINK colour shirt and later sneakers at AMK, even though i wasn't there lol. And i tell you it's so difficult to choose clothes for kenneth cause we can't find his size all the time! There was supposed to be a vest for him but we gave up lol. Songen bought shoes also i think. And i bought this really high pair of platforms which i can't walk properly in lol gotta practice abit more before the actual prom lol Oh and Joel? He's there as a consultant lol After all that long hours of walking and shopping, we had buffet dinner at Sakai Sushi. 43Plates i remember. Only 1 more plate more then that day's top2 challenger. We are such losers lol the guy who got first ate 101plates ALL BY HIMSELF!

Monday, 12 Nov
We were supposed to go shopping at Bugis, but siwai couldn't make it at the last minute and Jiaqi's exams only end at 5 so plans were changed. Instead, Songen, Kennard and Kenneth came over to my house to watch rented VCDs. We watched 3 comedies throughtout the afternoon. Cheaper By The Dozen 2, Licence To Wed and RV. I practically slept through RV, since i've wathced that show twice on HBO and once when it was in threates. Yup and that's about it.

Okay now. Next post. Pictures from Ubin lol.
~(9:34 PM)




Golly, i don't know what to say. But yeah,

THE O'LEVELS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER!

Our destiny is sealed with the passing up of our last paper, and now all we can do is

Wait.

I don't know what I'm feeling now, maybe cause it's 3.03 in the morning, or maybe because it happened so fast i couldn't believe it's already over.

I have mixed emotions inside me right now.

Happy that the exams are over.
Miserable that i screwed my lit papers.
And kinda lost....

We've been mugging for the past few weeks. And everytime we go out, it's to study. After school we ask our friends, "where do you wanna study today?". At night we ask our friends, "what time do you wanna study tomorrow?" And everyday, we ask ourselves what we wanna achieve today, and stuff like that.

And suddenly, when all these are over, it comes to a standstill.

We no longer have to pick up our books and try to memorise details. We no longer have to sacrifice TV and computer games to study. We longer have to wake up early in the morning to catch up with wherever we left off the previous night hoping we can cramp as much stuff as we can into our head. We longer have to do any of that and frankly speaking, it's kinda disturbing.

Maybe it's just me but yeah.

And there's this lost of direction and emptiness within me.

Kinda like your lost on a highway, and all you could do was wait for a car maybe to hitch a ride from, but all you see is a quiet, empty highway...

Don't get me wrong, i AM happy that the O'lvls are over. It's just that now that it's over, i don't know what to do.

I mean yeah, first thing that comes to mind, celebration.

Next? Prom

Following that? Probably movies, hanging out, catching up with sleep, TV, computer games and all that...

But yeah, that's kinda our problem now isn't it?

We will wake up every morning or afternoon, asking ourselves what we want to do today.

And even if we love this we love that we can't do it everyday right? Because sooner or later we're gonna get really bored...

But heck, let's leave it till then

I'm sure many of you have already planned out your activities and stuff for the next few weeks so yah.

ENJOY YOURSELF TO THE FULLEST. YOU DESERVE IT.

Now that the exams are over, it's time we set ourselves free and fly fly fly lol


What time is it?
Summertime!
It’s our vacation.
What time is it?
Party time!
That’s right, say it loud.
What time is it?
Time of our lives. Anticipation.
What time is it?
Summertime!
School’s out. Scream and shout.


=)
~(11:13 PM)





Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
~(10:48 PM)




So, as you can see from the title, Songen had a dream of death. Not his death, MINE.

So according to him, I'm going to die in a car crash near his house.

And then i'm gonna come back as an angry spirit and chase after him and try to possess him.

Then he's gonna call my name and i'm gonna possess his little toys.

Then he's gonna shoot me with a shotgun.

LOL and so he claims he's the king of de javu. But i seriously doubt that this would actually happen.

For those whom i have confided my dreams with, you'll know that i once had a recurring dream of my own death.

Similar to songen's actually, a car accident before my 16th birthday.

But i wasn't coming back as an angry ghost lah lol that's too much, even for me.

So anyway, i looked up the dream dictionary.(yes i have one! Bought it many years ago cause it was on offer. I am not psycho. I repeat, I AM NOT PSYCHO!)

Death

1. Traditionally to dream of death indicated the possibility of a birth or a change in circumstances in one's own life or that of people around. Because in the past death held gerat fear, it also represented calamity, in the sense that nothing would ever be the same again. It was something that had to be experienced and endured rather than understood. Inthese present times, as people's attitude change, death in a dream indicates a challenge we must confront. We need to adjust our approach to life and to accept that there can be a new beginning if we have courage.

2. On an intellectual level we are becoming conscious of potentials we may have missed or not expressed fully, and because of this we are no longer able to make use of them. We need to be sensitive to our ability to resurrect these talents. A change of awareness is taking place, and we may be going through some 'rite of passage' such as puberty to adulthood, maturity to old age and so on.

3. The unseen aspect of life; omniscience; spiritual rebirth; resurrection and reintegration.


Death of Oneself

1. To dream of one's own death is to be exploring one's own feelings about death; the retreat from a challenge of life or the split between mind and body. Leaving the body is frequently an expression of this breach between ego and life processes.

2. One's own death can often be used in dreams to explore other's feelings about us.

3. Death is a transition from an awareness of the gross physical to the more spiritual self.


Yeah and that's about it. Not much help though lol.

But hey, even though i can be emo and depressed at times, i don't wanna die young. Not when i'm entering a new phase in life. Not when things are going great. Not when i have good friends who will be there for me, and friends who dream of my death. Not when i havent't found my soul mate...

Currently, the reasons to live outweighs the reasons to die, if any.

So yes. If your wishing i'm gonna die anytime soon, TOO BAD, YOUR DREAM WILL NOT COME TRUE.

LOL and besides, according to my palm, i'll have a long life (unless i meet with an accident *gulp*), and i have many potentials to explore.

And my zodiac stars are shinning brightly.

So MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHA MEIXUAN SHALL LIVE!
~(4:50 PM)

meixuan aka mx, max, wintermelon
18, March14, Pieces
Single
Ngee Ann Poly, Business studies
Loves Anime, music, reading, sleeping
Wants to chase a tornado
Needs money and exercise LOL
Hopes to fall in love again
With the right person this time ><
I rock!=)



tagboard here


Adrian
Alan
Boss
Carren
ChiaLynn
Darren
Denise
Felicia
Mark
Malcolm
Nick
Serene
WeiQi
YaoSong
YongXin
Zijia



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